You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
