my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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