I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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