Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
