I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
