Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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