you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
