Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
