When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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