I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
