So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
