I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
