I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
