Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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