I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
