i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
