dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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