i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
