i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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