I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
