My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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