you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
