Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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