im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm like, not good at living.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize