new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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