It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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