Sry I called you an 8
you win again, gameday.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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