She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
