He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When are your genitals available?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
