from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone came in the potted fern
My breasts were aching with rage.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
