My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
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Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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