I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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