like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
