Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
