then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
