I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
