I just threw up on my dentist
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
