she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
