I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
