some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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