I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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