she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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