Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize