I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
