someone get that fucking seahorse.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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