Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
