The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
