no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
