They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
