Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize