How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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