just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize