hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
