The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
