We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
