The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
