Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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