I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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