So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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