Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
